Jessica Silva – Week 1, Question 1

Choose a selection and explain how the concept of romantic love is treated. Does it offer a traditional take or challenge typical conventions (i.e., we should date/marry for romantic love rather than security; everyone should find/have a "soulmate"; "true" love lasts forever; romantic love should be reserved for a man and a woman, etc.)

  In “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” I feel that Raymond Carver reveals contrasting concepts of love: one that appeals to tradition and serves as an idealized vision of what love is, or should be, and one that challenges said view. We have Terri, whose first husband beat her and dragged her around the house by her ankles, all while telling her “I love you, I love you, you bitch.” By most standards, this could not possibly be considered love, but Terri is quite adamant about the fact that he did indeed love her – so much that he killed himself, in fact. Terri offers up the idea that love is not an absolute: that we all love in the only way that we know how and can love others to varying degrees. On the other hand, her current husband, Mel, tells the story of an elderly couple who had been critically injured in a car accident.  When treated separately, the husband fell into a depression over the mere fact that he couldn’t make visual contact with his wife. For many, this is an ideal picture of love: where two lives are so intertwined that something as simple as not seeing one another becomes a crisis. When exploring the idea of love from this point of view, Terri’s idea of love is something that would never come into play. Terri and Mel’s contrasting views also reflect on two different time periods. Today we are fascinated by celebrity quickie weddings and game shows centered around the prospect of matrimony, and divorce is steadily on the rise – some might say that “true” love and marriage have been devalued over the years, whereas in yesteryears, couples married young and actually stayed married and in love with one another for the rest of their lives. Overall, “What We Talk About…” allows readers to ponder their own interpretations of what true love is, while subtly suggesting that the entire concept has become over-complicated, and that we should take a step back and revert to simpler times.